I Hate...

Not too long ago, on a flight home, I sat behind a couple of 40-something guys who were killing time by discussing the things in their lives that they disliked. Some of these things were universal—traffic, work, gas prices, politicians, assorted vegetables, etc. Others were somewhat harsher and included co-workers, neighbors and extended family members. After some thought I decided that there are also a lot of things in my life that I dislike, and even a few that I hate. Here, in part, is the list that I penciled on that flight:

“I really hate that I’m most passionate about Christ when I want something from him; I hate that both my Lord and my wife nearly always take a back seat to my own desires; I hate that I often ritually—without feeling or sincerity—perform my spiritual "duties" (reading, praying, worship, church & small group attendance, et cetra); I hate that I am often not at all offended by obviously offensive things—that it takes so much for me to blush; I hate that I have crossed paths with people that I’ve had the ability to feed or clothe—and I haven’t; I hate that my own insecurities so often keep me from being vulnerable and sharing the love of Jesus; I hate that, because of my great sense of entitlement, I am rarely as grateful as I ought to be; I hate that I haven’t met most of the people in my neighborhood; I hate that I go into every meeting assuming that I’m going to teach rather then be taught; I hate that I would rather watch TV then spend time with the One who gave it all for my friendship; I hate that my wife can be so intentional about loving me and growing our marriage…and that I am so content to let her; I hate, I hate, I hate that Jesus has promised me a “life that is truly life”, but that I seem to be so content living mine in a state of mediocrity...”

The list goes on and on, but you get the picture…